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Instead, enjoying BDSM is just one facet of someone's sexuality and lifestyle. It's just regular people who happen to get off that way, sex expert Gloria Brame, ., author of Different Loving This, a million times over. The 24/7 thing is all real (and fun) -- right up until it meets real life, and then things get complicated (though still fun, usually). In other words, you need someone you love and trust first and foremost, rather than the person who ticks the exact boxes on some bdsm list but whom you don't really love and trust.